The Practice of Using Quaker Silence in Educational Settings
This is something I wrote at the prompting of a colleague at Guilford College who wanted to know more about Quaker silence and our use of it on campus. Filed under "Frequently asked Quaker Questions."
Dear friend,
Quakers practice a listening silence when they gather for worship as a community. They also practice it before meetings of all kinds. I like to say that, Quakers begin all their most important work with silence.
The length of time depends on the Quaker meeting (what Quakers call their church); some go as long as an hour, others have anywhere from thirty minutes to five. The point of the practice is less about the length of time, and more about listening inwardly to the voice of God within, sometimes called the Inward Light, or Inward Teacher.
A longer time in silence can help in settling in to the practice of listening. I find that the longer I am able to go, the more deeply I am able to listen and quiet the worries and ramblings of my mind. If I have 5 minutes, quieting the task list is harder to shut out then when I practice 20 minutes of centering silence. However, I believe any length of time is helpful, not just for feeling centered and listening to what is coming up within, it can also be good on your nervous system, helping to regulate feelings of anxiety, especially when actively practiced with the intention of coming back to your own center.
The Use of Silence at the College
I personally find any silence refreshing, like taking a deep breath, feeling myself calm down, offering a quiet gratitude, or feeling oneself become more grounded. A moment of quiet in our noisy society can be a gift in and of itself. This is how I see a "moment of silence" best used at Guilford College. These brief moments before a meeting, a class, or a gathering, are like a quick refresher, a check-in with one's self, a momentary haulting in the busyness of the day. Besides its symbolic connection to the practice of silence in Quaker circles, even a short moment of silence is a useful practice that can be used throughout the day to stay physically grounded and awake to your own surroundings.
There is no rule about the length of a "moment" of silence. I enjoy hearing people across campus talk about how long their moments are. For me, I like to take six deep, slow breaths, inhaling through my nones and exhaling through my mouth. This takes me about 50-60 seconds if I were to time it but I don't.
There are also no rules about what you should do in the silence. Besides breathing, which is good enough on its own wouldn't you say, I like feel my feet grounded on the floor beneath me and my heart slow in my chest. I think about the people with me in the silence, giving gratitude for each person - either envisioning them individually if it is a small enough group, or as a collective whose time and lives are a gift to me. Others have been known to say a prayer, offer a word of hope, take a moment to let their spirits catch up to their bodies from wherever they were rushing from, put on hand on their stomach and one on their chest, or enjoy the moment of peace and quiet. There is no right way to do it, but to enjoy it and try different things to find what works for you.
The only real rule to follow is to do whatever helps you listen that doesn't distract or take away from your neighbors ability to do the same.
To keep things from getting awkward, I find that it is helpful to have one person start and end the silence. It doesn't matter who does it so long as they know they are going to start and close the silence. They might say something like, "Okay, will you join me in a moment of silence before we begin today," and then after six deep breathes (or whatever you choose to use as your length that day), offer a simple "Thank you" or, as I prefer, "Thank you, friends" loud enough that everyone can hear but gentle enough that folks are not startled out of their quiet moment.
On Extended Moments of Silence and Using an After Word
In longer periods of silence within the Quaker tradition the goal is not to be quiet but to practice a contemplative listening inwardly for God's guidance. Or as some Friends might say, we are listening for "What love might require of us." Quaker silence is thus a listening silence, a silence with the expectation that we might hear something from Someone. The roots of this kind of silence are religious, even if you don't have to be religious to benefit from the practice.
For Quakers there are many ways we talk about who/what we are listening for but the goal is to listen and to hear, and then respond. Sometimes, the response is sharing what one has heard inwardly with others who are in the group, as in they might stand during the silence and say something like, "The Spirit laid this message on my heart to share with all of you..." Sometimes, the response is what you are led to do next with a decision or action you've felt led to take.
On campus, there is one weekly opportunity for this longer silence we call "Centering Silence" and it is held Wednesdays at (9:00-9:30 AM). It is open to staff, students, and faculty. That group is typically small, and not everyone is listening for God in those moments, but they are listening. The practice of silence must be inclusive and participatory, you shouldn't have to know what to do in order to participate, and the barrier for speaking/responding should be low enough that folks feel safe to speak, but high enough that the silence is not overrun with chit-chat. This is a hard balance that takes time to understand and cultivate.
We have started adding a "new" practice into centering of silence, and other longer periods where those gathered are somewhat new to the practice or at least new to practicing it within a group. After the silence is over we often make space for an After Word. An After Word is a little conversation after the silence where we ask for some reflection and feedback on the experience of the silence. Questions like, "How was the silence for you today?" Or "Did anything come up for you during the silence that you'd like to share with the rest of the group" can help create a little more space for sharing and connection that we have found a nice addition.
Quaker theologian, Rhiannon Grant says, "Silence is a tool, not a rule." I think a moment or extended periods of silence can both serve as practices that can be helpful to ourselves and those we work with. We are not required to have moments of silence at Guilford College, but I love that there is a culture of using it by students, staff, and faculty. I love that we're finding ways to fit it into our work with each other and using it to help ourselves feel more grounded and present to who we are with and what we are doing at any given moment. This is one of the ways I see the wisdom of the Quaker tradition continuing to inform the practice of the college today.
C. Wess Daniels
2024-09-18
Haw River Watershed (Greensboro, NC)