Five New Skills In Just One Week

lsleeping

I was thinking the other day how my resume is drastically changing with the birth of our daughter, here are some new skills I’ve picked up in the last nine days of her life.

I can:

  1. Turn my chest into a warm and toasty mattress.

  2. Change diapers while sleeping.

  3. Catch urine in mid-air, protecting upholstery, pillows and other objects close to the changing table.

  4. Explain what baby wearing is and how to do it.

  5. Read a baby’s body language to know the difference between “rooting” and pooing.

Photo courtesy of Seth.

Published by Wess

Teacher, author, Quaker, ​and public theologian. He works at Guilford College, enjoys riding his Triumph Bonneville, and listening to music.

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7 Comments

  1. Good job! I bet your wife falls more in love with you with every diaper you change!

    As Napoleon Dynamite would say girls dig guys who have skillz.

  2. @Daja – Napoleon Dynamite was apparently right! I even toyed with adding a ‘z’ to my title.

    @Thanks Craig! She’s the best ever gift for sure. We just stared at her all day on Christmas.

    @Pistol – I’ve already applied to a few new jobs with my new resume, I’ll let you know how it goes.

  3. I love it…great list. I’m learning the same. I’ve learned to sleepwalk at work for sure. And how to fasten pj’s and swaddle our daughter all before she can re-awaken.

    rhett

  4. You will soon learn how to do all sorts of things while sleeping in addition to changing diapers. Oh! And your ability to distinguish meaning in her cries will become finely tuned.

    Congratulations! It only gets better from here.

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