gathering in light

(Not A) Golden Mouth

C. Wess Daniels — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 05:10:26 +0000

I’m hoping some day preaching becomes the kind fluid movement for me that other people in their professions seem to acquire with their skills of necessity. You know, where the person is so keyed in that it doesn’t even look like they’re doing what they are doing? Where the professor is so well-versed in pedagogy that it is more of a reflex than an intentional response. Now, I’ve seen a few preachers who had this kind of golden-mouth style to speaking and teaching the Scriptures (most of them being women). These preachers incorporated the deep experience of the truth they share along side the the ability to say the profound in a way that seemed so simple you wonder why you hadn’t thought of it like that before. For now, every time I stand in front of people to ‘preach’ I do so with a self-awareness, almost an awkwardness, that makes it difficult to communicate. Where the hearer may say, “wow, you said something so simple and yet, somehow I feel like I understand it less now.”

Preaching for me feels a lot like standing naked in front of a group of people. While nudity in the pulpit has been done before (OT prophets anyone?), trying to convince people that they should be thinking about some other topic and not about the fact that you are naked would be difficult to do. For the record, I do actually wear clothes when I preach. And in a way preaching has this kind of powerless edge to it, as though to say where I hope those who listen hear the heart behind the words and don’t pay too much attention to the fact that I deliver a sermon with about as much finesse as Napoleon Dynamite’s last dance scene. AWKWARD. By the end of my sermons I usually feel one of at least three things: a) I should high-five people for them making it through to the other end (“wow, you really are strong for sitting through those 20 mins!”); b) I should bury my head for shame of what I just shared about myself (did those words really just come out?); or c) run for cover because surely an offense was made somewhere in all those words and if I duck under a pew maybe people will forget about it!

I think one of the things I wrestle with still is the fact that preparing for Sunday morning still takes A LOT of effort for me (definitely not one of those reflexes just yet). By Sunday I feel like I’m kind of pouring out my soul to the world, so shouldn’t everyone feel so strongly and passionately about this as I do!? Obviously, a response like that isn’t fair or even possible, but I find myself feeling this huge exhale by my last sentence on Sunday morning that isn’t necessarily pleasing. It’s like this huge build up all week to a climax that ends in disappointment. One of my responses is to go back and try to redo what I said in my head, how could I have said this better, more clearly, etc. Part of this is (if I am open here) that I struggle with trusting the Holy Spirit to do its work (what, it’s not all up to me?!). And part of it is simply that I feel really vulnerable by the end, like I laid my soul bare (back to the naked theme again). I don’t think I want that vulnerability to go away, maybe I could tone it down or utilize it better, but I do want to have a stronger sense that this was the right thing to say, the right way to say it and the right timing. I want to have more confidence that Christ is behind the words, in front of the words, and inside of the words and that I can learn how to preach like these “golden mouths” I admire. I’ve got my work cut out for me to say the least, but fortunately we are a part of a very gracious community of people who have been very supportive.

I should also say that besides some of these anxieties, there are actually some things I really love about preaching. I will share those with you soon too.

Six Months With a Quaker Preacher Project

Lifestyle

C. Wess Daniels — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 05:21:56 +0000

I’ve been thinking about my lifestyle a lot lately. One reason for this is that I’ve recently had trouble with my back and neck and have suffered from some pretty intense tension headaches. I started going to the chiropractor about a month ago and that has helped some with the issue. (I knew that I have been out of whack for a long time, but finally found someone who could help me!) In addition to the chiropractor, I’ve recently visited a massage therapist, which was pretty awesome and certainly helped with the aches. Boy, would I’d like to incorporate that into my regular routine. This has set me on a search for ways in which my lifestyle in general could be different, more healthy. In part, I’m thinking how to prevent more trouble with my neck and back and in part I recognize I’m getting older. I need to focus my attention on fewer things so that I can be more present for my family, my congregation, and my studies, but who am I kidding, this doesn’t come natural for me. Having too many irons is the fire is my curse and potentially a gift (though that’s uncertain). So I’m trying to scale back in some areas, find other things that help me just enjoy life more, and other things that encourage better health. Here are a few things I’m working on:

I’m walking and riding to the office more on my bike than I had been in recent few months. Sometimes it that means I have to brave the rain but really the weather has been amazing here this winter. And don’t get me wrong, I still drive when the need arises, or for those lazy mornings.
We’re trying to find ways to slow down, from what and how we cook to walking, to breathing more, to making more things, and hopefully gardening soon.
As a long time NPR supporter, we recently donated to our local Public radio station and we canceled our NY Times subscription in favor of reading the local newspapers. I’m enjoying incorporating into my life these sources of information because it helps me feel more a part of this community.
I’m considering who I’m reading, who I talk about and who I’m supporting more as well. A couple weeks back I had a conversation that really forced me to reconsider how my status and gender influence, positively and negatively, other people. My friend suggested to me that my lifestyle will never change, or ever consider others outside my sphere, if all the people influencing me are middle-class (straight) white men. This has been sticking with me more than I initially thought it would because it is something I agree with in theory, but in practice it’s going to take some effort to reformat.
I’ve been meeting regularly with a spiritual director, a Quaker mentor, and a few friends who I find healthy, stimulating and nurturing to be around.
I’ve been digging into fiction a lot more lately. I’m enjoying the gift my wife gave me for Christmas, reading biographies penned by one of my favorite theologians, reading from the US Food hero, and even just started getting into some of Wendell Berry’s writings (all white men – who I really like – by the way).
Taking time to stretch has also been something I’m trying to incorporate into my daily routine more to help combat some of the headaches and neck pains I’m experiencing.
Other things I’m working to incorporate into my lifestyle are an Internet free day (one of my days off), at least one quite evening with no computer’s or media for reading and just relaxing, and I’m also trying to eat better (which means less) and cut down on processed foods.

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Is It The End Of Our SUV Lifestyle?

Can Quakers Plan?

C. Wess Daniels — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 07:09:26 +0000

I never used to be big on planning ahead. In undergrad I was the guy working on papers through the night and then jogging to class with a wet ink on a newly printed research paper. My grades showed for it. Then I got married and went to grad school. Emily is a list maker and a planner. By grad school I was writing papers weeks ahead of time. You could say I’ve picked up a few lessons along the way. I sat down today and mapped out the preaching schedule for 2010. I don’t have all the details in place, but the big picture has been sketched. There are a number of things I needed to juggle in putting it together: we try to have at least one guest come every month, I have a few trips coming up in the spring, the church calendar (well, Advent and Lent), and we are planning on having a quarterly unprogrammed service this year. Besides all that, the fun part is thinking through what it is we’ll be studying. The things I’m feeling drawn to are a) following the Lectionary for Lent, b) studying the biblical and contemporary understandings of the Quaker testimonies (Summer), c) delving into the Epistle of James and Ephesians (Spring and Fall), and d) going through Advent.

The part I struggled with in putting all this together was that I wanted a sounding board, a group of collaborators all tossing in their two sense. I felt like there could be some really good ideas but it was hard to do it all on my own. What am I missing? How could I stretch myself (the Lectionary is one way)? So I am going to take what I have to the Elder’s meeting this coming Tuesday and invite discussion around the topics and see what they think. For some, there will always be a tension between “this is your job” and “I’d like to be involved,” but I think there will be interest in something like this. Another difficult thing is that I feel good about what I planned but I didn’t feel any particular leading on some of it. So I’m holding this all out in the open, revisions can still be made God! Growing up in an Evangelical church I always thought there was some kind of “magical” experience the preacher had when compiling this stuff. There was no magical experience today, just some grounded interest in Scripture and our tradition, a lot of organizing and planning, prayer and silence and walking, and some of my own ideas sprinkled on top. I know for some planning ahead is a big no-no. The allergy is based on an assumption that God shows up on Sunday to say what God wants to say on Sunday (and not a day earlier). But I like planning ahead because it helps me “see where I am going.” Planning ahead is the way for my job to remain sustainable for me as I juggle full-time doctoral work and a family as well. I believe that God can guide me as much today as I sketch out the learning schedule for the year as God can disrupt all this, revise it, and change it as we go through the days, weeks and months of this coming year. For me, God not only shows up on Sunday morning when the message is delivered but when the message is being outlined, planned and written. I hope to hold these two in tension.

On Earth As it is in Heaven

C. Wess Daniels — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:00:46 +0000

This is the last week for peace month at Camas Friends even though January officially ended a couple days ago. I thought why not extend it just a little longer so we can focus on making peace with the earth? To get things started off properly I decided to take a couple walks today. First I strolled at a pace that I could breathe slowly, pray and take in the sites attentively. I find that some of my best times of prayer and thought are when I am outside walking. I walked through a neighbor in Camas I’ve yet to cross on foot. I tried to take in the beauty of nature, reflect on the state of the buildings (and imagine then as different things), and think through what it meant to be physically present as the church in that neighborhood. Then, after lunch, I walked back to the office taking in similar things with a different landscape. I spent the rest of the day looking in the the Scriptures about creation, skimming through some of my books, and looking online at a variety of Quaker testimonies on caring for the Earth.

One thing that initially drew me to Camas Friends was the obvious interest in creation care (I prefer the term creation care, to Earthcare, not shying away from the biblical aspect of this theology). Prior to our arrival they were already doing lots of cool stuff. From a “Peace Camp” for children that taught, among other things, on “Peace with the Earth,” to doing classes using the Northwest Earth Institute curriculum, I was impressed that the congregation was actively engaged in learning and teaching on this subject.

So, when it comes to this week then, what is it that I should share? I have this feeling that many people are not only actively working out what it means to be aware of our environment, but are doing more to actually care for it. Surely, Sunday can’t be a how-to guide full of “time-saving” tips on caring for creation. Nor can it be a message that tries to prove that Global Climate Change is happening. Nor can I outline all of what a theology of creation looks like. My approach will be at least two fold. First, I want to discuss my own journey, and allow space for others to share their stories, on how I/we became aware of creation. What was it that led to realizing there was something to notice? How did God call us to come to peace with “all things” as it says in Colossians 1? What does it mean to be reconnected to the Earth in this way? And the other part of this will be to reflect on how caring for the Earth is not some new idea, it’s not a political idea that Al Gore invented (though he’s helped draw attention to some of this) and that more conservative folks ought to reject on “principle.” This is the biblical story. This is our story. And this is our gift. If it is our story, if the reconciliation of “all things” really is in the works, then we have a role to play in that.

So on Sunday, our last Sunday for peace month, we will also again enter a space already covered by the Lord’s Prayer: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven.” This is my prayer for us.

Feeding Sheep With Steady Diets of This and That

C. Wess Daniels — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 06:41:23 +0000

I’ve missed a few days of posting for my series (I try to post on the days I work) but I’m back on it. I last wrote about my full weekend, and was it ever full?! Here are a few highlights.

I was approved to be on the Board of Leadership and Development for the yearly meeting. The board handles things like the yearly meeting’s relationship with the George Fox University and Seminary, the mentoring of pastors, pastor retreats, the raising of leaders, the recording process and things of that nature. I’m really excited about the people on that board and the things they’re working on (a lot of things around developing Quaker leadership).

I was also asked to speak, along with other church representatives, about what we’re doing to address homelessness in our town. I used some of the stuff I wrote about earlier, and shared some of the stories about how we got onto thinking about all this. The two things I felt were most important to stress were that there is an awareness problem (as is the case in many places). Because the homeless are often “invisible” they are easy to ignore or avoid. Just becoming more aware makes a difference. The second thing was that caring for “the least of these” is always the church’s responsibility first. A lot of us assume someone else is doing it and this is how problems of awareness and lack of help arise. Jesus never said Hire someone to “feed my sheep,” he simply said, “feed my sheep.” Thus we need to feed on a steady diet of good questions, questions that poke at these assumptions, our awareness, and drive at the issues causing people to be on the streets without help.

Cherice Bock visited our meeting on Sunday morning with her family and talked about her time spent with Christian Peacemaker Teams. What was really great about having her share for week focused on “Peace with the Nations” was that she complexified the Palestinian and Israeli conflicts. There was no boiled down political talking points, just real life stories she witness of actual people losing their homes, their families and friends, and their land. Between politics and media, this conflict has been reduced down to its most simplistic parts. No wonder it is easy to forget there are real people behind the stereotypes, the violence and the hatred. Cherice challenged us with a steady diet of alternative perspectives that wouldn’t allow for oversimplifications. Her query to us was no doubt provocative: “What would happen if Christians devoted the same discipline and self-sacrifice to nonviolent peacemaking that armies devote to war?”

Finally, January 31 was the last Sunday of the month, so it was time for another film night. This time we watched two short films on human trafficking. The evening was heavy but it was good to think through the reality that millions of people live in. Just because it’s not in front of us (or is it?) doesn’t mean it’s not our problem too. I appreciated being in a community willing to even show up and watch these films, let alone wrestle with the issues. We will keep feeding off a steady diet of colorful meals with a variety of films and voices not just for our “Last Sundays for the Earth” but on Sunday mornings and in our small groups, etc.

It was a good, and full weekend.