Being home always reminds me of who I am, who I am not, and who I try to be. For instance most of my friends here in LA are in school, just out of school or are pursuing PhD (so they will be in school for a lifetime), while most of my friends back home have houses, children, and steady jobs. Being there makes it hard to remember what we are doing here, in fact it makes here seem all the unimportant. And on the one hand it really is – I am no more important for coming here and no less if we hadn’t come at all.
So my perspective has been challenged once again. I am not in school or pursuing it for money, I will never make that much as a pastor/theologian nor do I care too. I have wondered whether there are other jobs I could be doing that might be better for me, should we move home and I take a job in a bookstore using the skills I’ve learned at FTS Bookstore? How about working with my cousin Mark who owns his own contracting business? What about finding a church and start pastoring, forgetting about teaching right now? Many thoughts move in and out – there has been little stability in our thinking. Actually emily and I have even talked about starting a business in Canton, some really good ideas.
I am waiting to do an entrance exam on tuesday for Fuller’s PhD program after that – we wait for a response from Birmingham and Fuller to find out whether I have been accepted. Fortunately there is little pressure one way or the other, if I am not accepted we’ll rethink the whole plan another exciting prospect. To top this all off – I realized the other day I am just not that good at my current job and the kinds of things I want to do lie elsewhere.
One thing is for sure, its still home and we want to be there more than here. For all the friends we have here – there’s nothing quite like the streets of your ol’ stomping grounds.
Some of these interests lead me to the second part of this post.
For this coming year I hope to:
1. Make 1 short film and multiple even shorter silly skit-type films
2. work on my music
3. read more John Steinbeck
4. read Dylan Thomas
5. publish at least one article
6. read other more theological works
7. get in better physical shape by riding my bike
8. cook and bake more with emily
9. travel to other states to see friends
10. go backpacking
i am not so much for resolutions but hopes are fun to have.
11. oh yeah and get accepted to a PhD program and if not do something else equally fantastic.
12. and sport read hats.