Life in a Lull

this weekend was pretty fun. Emily and I took it easy which we always like.  We went to Ikea to look for some furniture and spent a lot of time just browsing the store.  We love living on 10 min. from that place!

We went to our pasadena church this past sunday, it was fun, I got to run sound and emily did the slides, she is really the coolest!  We will miss hanging out at foothills community church but we do feel the need to be plugging into Glendale more.  We don’t really know anyone here or know much about where to go for stuff.  We want to find the local spots, you know like where you take your car to get the transmission looked at, and where the best grocery stores are etc.

I guess i have been feeling weird lately.  I have so much i want to do, mainly creative things.  I feel like i can’t get there because I have so much school to deal with.  Yesterday I was at an Art College and it made me regret never doing art in school.  It is such a part of who i desire to be, its not that i think i am good at it, but it is something i always think about, always want.  That is part of it.  The other part is deeper, and not I haven’t discovered it yet.  It is this on going dissatisfaction.

I am not sure why I have felt this – I think it is impart because I feel like I am doing nothing.  What I  mean is I keep thinking about Emily how she is working so much, and How we want a house and a nice car, and a comfortable lifestyle and i feel like I should get off my hind end and get a real job.    I think this is one of the main struggles with school, and it is the one reason why many don’t go to school.  they get caught up making money.  But on my end, it is trying to stay focused on the finish line, investing is hard because you make real-time sacrifices, for something better later.  This investment mindedness is what has been hard for me.

I found out yesterday that one of my brothers is in jail for driving with bad plates and no license.  I hurt for him and his family.  They don’t have much money, and he has really been struggling to find his way.  I prayed for him this morning, a real pray, the first real pray i have prayed in a while.  I really want to help them, I want him to follow Christ and find hope in this life.  I prayed that this would be a turning point.

What will happen?  Sometimes i can’t take all the drama  Maybe because I can’t find my place in it, I don’t know what my role is, especially being so far away.  There are times when I want to run and Hide, there are times when I want to run and save them.  Then there are those times when I reminisce about the way the way things used to be. 

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Wess

...is the William R. Rogers Director of Friends Center and Quaker Studies at Guilford College in Greensboro, NC., PhD in Intercultural Studies from Fuller Theological Seminary, served as a "released minister" at Camas Friends Church, and father of three. He enjoys sketchnoting, sharing conversation over coffee with a friend, listening to vinyl and writing creative nonfiction.

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